Peace

*sigh* this was my dream last night

Pretty much, I gave up on life, so I gave myself to a cult to sacrifice me for their bidding, so the slowly stabbed my in the stomach.

The strange thing is, the only thing I felt was the tip of the knife on my stomach, but once it entered my body, I felt nothing but relief. No Pain.
As I felt the knife getting deeper into my stomach, I just felt more peace, my eyes became watery, and I felt the blood coming up my throat through my mouth
But it felt right
I was calm, the feeling was amazing, I was feeling peace, I never felt this before, and I was happy, while I felt my blood drip down my sides.
But, I did not die.
I was laying there bleeding for 2 hours, and I did not die, I was laying there with my eyes closed waiting for death to take me away, but it never did.
I just finally gave up and I went to beg my family for help, but when I ran to them and gasped out “Help” They told me I was overreacting and I was okay
They did not see the knife in my stomach, they couldn’t see the blood, they couldn’t see the pain I was in, they didn’t see any of it at all
They couldn’t see the signs that I was scared, that I was hurt, that I was stressed, that I was dying…they didn’t care.

Then I woke up

I told my friends this dream, and this is what some had said to me :

[3:32:18 PM] Melanie: "To dream that you have been stabbed signifies your struggle with power. You are experiencing feelings of inadequacy and defensiveness. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are feeling betrayed as reflected by the popular phrase, "being stabbed in the back"."
[3:31:38 PM] Melanie: "To dream that you are bleeding or losing blood signifies that you are suffering from exhaustion or that you are feeling emotionally drained."
[3:29:25 PM] Melanie: And the fact that your family could not see your wounds is probably saying that you feel as if your family does not see how stressed you are and the pain you're going through
[3:38 PM] Hexebus: <<< The way that sounds it just sounds like your family is causing you alot of grief, and the sheer fact you just want to Escape that environment. In essence, escaping that life to lead something better and where you wont be judged.
[3:44 PM] Hexebus: <<< The feeling of 'death' that seemed relaxing it seemed to hint yes you are majorly stressed when your mom gets on your case time and time again.
You want to make your parents proud but they can't see it because they favor your brother.
However; the feeling of relaxation and relief is what you'll accomplish when you see Schefus as well as achieveing your goal of being an animator.

All these are true…they are all true.

The only thing that scares me most is that, I want that dream again, and I want to feel like that again, I felt relieved, everything was gone, it just seemed right.

But im not going suicidal, this dream just made me not fear death, but im not wanting it ethier, it just made me feel more comfortable about death, death is peaceful, and it will be one of the best feelings anyone will ever have
But you must enjoy life first, you must enjoy ever minute you have with your family, friends, loved ones, and companions, don’t waste it by suicide.

This was one hell of a dream ill tell you that, definitely made me thing, bUT IM NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF OR ANYTHING!!!!! AUGH, IM AGAINST THAT XDDD don’t worry about me, im fine, this is just one of the most powerful dreams I ever had in a long time

Thank you for those that stayed and read this, it means a lot, good bye <3